Poetry

In Their Own Words

THE ACCIDENTAL BEAT POETRY OF BACHELOR PROFILES

These are copied and pasted from eligible gents’ profiles. It’s not possible to write enough “sics”; please just understand you’re reading the unfiltered id of the Second Greatest Generation. Okay, Boomers:

  • “No Ladys who are self centered and shellfish”

  • “I believe in encounters ghosts, aliens and government conspiracies.”

  • “. If You’re Vaxxed No Thanks. A Low IQ is a turn off. Western Chauvinist. Fascist Nationalist. Time to take the Globalist Trash out of America. “

  • “And please ladies guys are visual you need to post photos. And then post photos that are not resent, If not then your not being honest and miss leading others.”

  • “Tha King DB, 47: Hi, I’m D. B. C***** Don’t worry – I’m not here to hijack another 747 – I’m here to hijack that booty. You must be under 30, or at least fit and attractive enough to convince DB that you are. A school girl outfit works great. My ideal hijack subject will be 5’9″ or taller, slender and gorgeous. If you don’t measure up, it’s also likely you can gain DB’s attention by wearing a pair of sexy high heels. Contact me for your next set of instructions.”

  • “Hi am from Caldwell and stright up am on these sites cause I hear they work me am not asking much to find some I hit it off with and can’t get cought up in drama games strings just sex if u like hit me up”

  • “These are my favorite things TRUTH .JESUS. Honesty. Romance. Walks hikes. Horse’s and Dog’s.”

  • “Im passive like to be a gentleman but im real naughty… i wanna play”

  • “I’m Patriotic, BELIEVE in the Constitution, and I’m a true conservative. I’m a disabled Viet-Nam combat veteran.I’ve held elected office, and STEONG TRUMP SUPPORTER.”

  • “I am in the process of having a mid-life change or crisis. I respect all ladies, but I am only interested in ladies who are good with being “spoiled rotten”, flying in a private aircraft, yachting and scuba diving, seldom making a plan, dancing with me when you or I hear a song that excites us, and never says “I am to tired – I don’t feel like it. Be willing to climb on the back of my motorcycle – either a big road bike or a CBR 600RR. I understand loving family, but please don’t bring a bunch of baggage. Be a princess during the day, dressed to the 9’s during the early evening – then attired from Adam & Eve at night. I ask that you be height -weight – proportional or thinner and have or willing to have “extremely short hair” and really great nails.”

  • “I AM TRK DRIVER TRAVAL ALL OVER US”

  • “Big boy toys are a good way to stay young and I have done a decent job collecting toys in that dept.  Big Girl’s toys are an entirely different discussion.  I would love to discuss your toys with you but, that would be after dinner, dessert, and the purchase of a Costco size container of AA batteries.”

  • “Oh, and crazy old cat women need not apply! Call me, request an smile.Life is short, just sit on your ass, and dream, or get off it and buy me a drink That should scare you timid girls and inspire you, the bold .For just 500 a day we can get drunk and play Oh, and I can cook, while you rejoice in salubrious recall. Don’t wait for Mr. Right, he left the building, years ago .Or, get some cats, seems you need at least 4 to keep you from getting a man.”

  • “I love sports car races to rodeos and all kinds of sports camping,fishing and good concerts and like to enjoy sex to”

  • “Recently (actually in the middle of) divorced and lost in life. I am not female by no means but do enjoy shopping and dreaming of buying anything i want.”

  • “seeking asian–honest,truthful,humorous, conservative,sexual,conversation,try to be always prepared,homebody,introvert,no family,love beer and tv, please no fake reality ,same in companion–wheel over jeopardy–simple-no expensive women-seeking good woman-traditional-affectionate-intimate-think outside the box-work as team-work as couple-sorry-not able to get photo-old school-tech limited-6 foot,250lbs,bald,silver hair small beard-nothing to write home about but ok to some women-back is limited mobility and walking far is not in picture-been there done that–like my secluded front yard–you–  me against the world-no self centered or adoring women–out spoken-love to poke fun at idiots–that’s me in a nutshell–“

  • “55 Year old Mountain Home manSeeking women 18 – 48. All the women that I have been meeting lately are so superficial. I am trying to meet some REAL women. Are you out there Ladie’s? Do you really exist? What can you show me that would restore my faith in the “Better Half?”

  • “I’ve. Worked.   For. Many. Years. In the. Reasurant. Business. I’m an artist. I. Play gutair. I’d. Like. To meet. A. Women to. Have a. Relationship. With”